Confusion
God has me where I am for a reason. There is a reason and a puropse for my placement. All I have to do is figure it out, and follow through with the plan God has for me. But I can't help but feel so confused right now...Today was weird, and I learned a lot but I'm not sure what to do with it...I attend college, because I am hoping to meet my future husband, and then get married. See, my plan (up until today when it all blew up...I will try to explain later) was to get my HDFS degree and then spend a year (summer included) taking nursing classes. But what I really wanted was to get married and spend the rest of my life serving my husband and raising our children where ever the Lord calls us.
But then today I watched a movie (Invisible Children) and it made me think...I am being very wasteful and selfish with this plan...I mean, other than trying to minister to my family and then next semester whom ever God plants in the dorm, who am I reaching out to...How am I facing persecution, how am I leaving my comfort zone? I feel that having my own children and waiting here in the states for my 'knight in shining armor' is selfish and counter-productive.
So, I am confused and I don't really know what to do, or where to go from here...I haven't prayed about it, or spent any time in the Scripture (YET!!! I am still processing why I feel so useless and selfish). So when I have, I will try to write again about this...But I am open to advice, and Scripture.
God bless.
>>>Current mood: Tired and confused...but I bet you could have guessed that.
posted by Chelsea Norris @ 2:27 AM
1 Comments:
truthfully, i would guess that these are more of Satan's lies. now, keep in mind that i'm no expert, except that i've experienced his lies too, so i could be completely off, but that's kind of what it looks like to me. from what you write (which is sadly mostly what i know about you), you are not selfish and you are not inside your comfort zone. i mean, you may be "used" to pain (if that can ever happen), but it makes you cry it's so bad, and i'd say that's outside your comfort zone. you're having a hard time at home? that makes it outside your comfort zone. these among other things i'm sure show that you are outside your comfort zone (to me at least). and selfish? look at what you write? you care so much about the people around you. take Tara for instance; you love her, and you want to make things right with her. i can see how you could perceive this as selfish, but seriously? i think selfish would be not caring what happened to her, you're view is just skewed, and that's why i say that i think this is the Devil trying to make you stumble because you are becoming such a threat. i'd be scared to death in your situation because you have such an amazing mission field right here at home, and you have such an amazing testimony. I would be scared of what Satan would do to stop you because you have the potential to be the brightest lighthouse for Jesus that i've ever been friends with. and friend, i love you, and i'll always be praying for you.
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